counseling session with the blue:

When an officer advises you that "the next time she acts like that, you can, and probably should snatch a knot in her ass" do you ask for clarification? Specific guidelines? Mitigating criteria? Or is this a feel your way through and go with your instincts kind of moment to be worked out with DCS later?
Aikido training wasn't offered with my prenatal classes. (read: "the art to defend, whilst also protecting the attacker from injury") As it appears, this may not have been purely ideal, but quite possibly necessary. Didn't get any martial arts training, cage fighting tips, or boxing ring etiquette at any point during my pregnancy. Got no game in physical fighting skills at all, as it would turn out.
While admittedly, the referees of my childhood were much more liberal with the adult use of the occasional smack down. And, while I can recall finding that balling in to a fetal position under a table is a viable tactic to warding off kicks of motherly instruction- I guess I didn't take notes well enough, to effectively apply them to my own mothering. Unless of course you count olympic screaming.
Upon reflection, this vacuum of physical fighting mastery, may account for my development of epic sarcasm and withering eat shit looks, free of charge. Guess when lacking in one area, nature's compensatory mechanism kicks in to even out the playing field.
Or maybe, not discounting Darwinian evolution-in-leaps, some things just skip a generation.

Of note: I am done playing with the "adult" fool idiots in my family. Those I conceived, birthed, nurtured, and that I love with some otherworldly strength- those I inherited with the love of a man who supports my every heart wrenching episode- I will continue to engage them in their crazy dance around a ring. I will, over and over and over again, work to reconcile. I will invest with my heart, my experience, and my tears (at the detriment my sleep, my blood pressure, and all the like) in pointing out the path to maturity, self sufficiency, and a giving-hopeful-fruitful life.
The rest of you can go find your own Mommys.